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Three retired Brigadiers were chatting at a Regimental Reunion and deploring the fact that they were all getting old. “It’s my eyes that are failing”, said the first. “When I go shooting I have the greatest difficulty seeing the birds.”

“With me, it’s my hearing,” said the second. “When I play bridge I have quite a problem hearing the calls.”

“Oh, in my case it’s my memory,” said the third. “I recently hired a secretary to type my memoirs – a most attractive girl! After working late one night I took her home and suggested I might come into her flat, while she slipped into something comfortable. “She told me straight – “Brigadier – you’ve had it”.

Funny thing was – I couldn’t remember whether I had or not.”

A retired colonel was walking through the subway at Green Park underground station when he saw a busker playing a violin. Propped up in the violin case was a sign saying “Please give generously – Falklands veteran”.

The colonel naturally felt great sympathy for the ex-soldier who had fought for his country, and anger that he had been reduced to busking. He dropped a ten pound note into the open case and as he walked away, the busker said “Gracias, Senor”.

In 1940, when there was a shortage of serge for uniforms, a Royal Navy Fleet Order was issued stating ‘Wrens’ uniforms will be held up until the urgent requirements of seagoing personnel have been satisfied.’