The local Chamber of Commerce held a gala dinner to honour its most successful, and very wealthy, businessman. During the speech which followed, he recounted how he had arrived there many years before with only the clothes he stood up in and all his possessions in a carrier bag.
As they were leaving one of the guests, hoping to emulate his success, asked him what exactly he had in the bag.
“Half a million pounds,” came the reply.
There is a belief in the part of the country I came from, that a mother’s first kiss can influence her baby’s future life. If the child is a girl, a kiss on her feet could mean she will become a dancer, while a boy might be a successful footballer.
A kiss on the hands might make a boy a boxer or skilled craftsman, while a girl could be an artist, writer or pianist. Your chairman’s mother obviously made sure he is eminently qualified to sit in the position he now occupies!
What is the difference between an accountant and an actuary? An actuary is good at figures but finds accountancy too exciting.
What is the difference between an accountant and a statistician? A statistician is someone who is good at figures but doesn’t have the personality of an accountant.
